It's a god-awful small affair            [Verse]

To the girl with the mousy hair      G#  Cm D#m F7

But her mummy is yelling no          Bbm C# D#7 D#7

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks through her sunken dream  [Pre-

To the seat with the clearest view       Chorus]

And she's hooked to the silver screen    B  B

                                         G#m  A

But the film is a saddening bore         E  G#7

(For she's lived it ten times or more    C#m E7

 She could spit in the eyes of fools)

As (they ask her) to focus on           [Chorus]

                                   (C#  F#

Sailors fighting in the dance hall  Bbm7 F#m

Oh, man, look at those cavemen go   G#   G#m

It's the freakiest show             D#m7 F#m7 x2)

Take a look at the                  Bbm7 A

Lawman beating up the wrong guy     C#  D#

Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know

He's in the best selling show           [Instru]

Is there life on Maaaaars          G#  F7 Bbm   G7

                                   Cm C# C#m7 X

It's on America's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow ╔═════════╗

Now the workers have struck for fame ║ Life on ║

'Cause Lennon's on sale again        ║  Mars?  ║

See the mice in their million hordes ║  David  ║

From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads     ║  Bowie  ║

Rule Britannia is out of bounds      ╚═════════╝

To my mother, my dog and clowns  [Pre-

                                  Chorus]

(Because I wrote it ten times or more     [Cho-

 It's about to be writ again) (I ask you)   rus]